Your favourite local grow shop might seem a glossy, well-oiled machine, but what really goes on behind the counters? With years of experience in the UK grow scene, Steve from Hydro Bros knows it’s not all glamorous. He brings a new, unfiltered series to Garden Culture’s pages to tell the tales of running a store. Steve brings sharp insight, grit, a little bit of chaos, and a healthy sense of humour to every story.
Welcome to my little corner of Garden Culture Magazine. This article is called ‘Behind the Grow Shop’; a glimpse of what actually happens behind the Instagram memes, pictures of flashy new stuff, and questionable story shares. Are we a well-oiled, slick machine, or quivering shambles lucky to have made it so far? I think we’re pretty efficient; however, until I’m on a yacht with [fill in your own blank], my work is not done.
So, what goes on in the Grow Shop?
To frame the answer and context, a large proportion of our business is online; however, while our in-store footfall may be only a fraction of our orders, the AOV in-store is higher.
Our business model has three core pillars:
- Customer Service: Great before the sale, even better after.
- Rapid Dispatch: If an order hits at 5:30 pm and we can send it, we will.
- Staying Ahead of the Curve: Being that beacon of what’s hot (or not); yes, showing my age there (Google ‘hot or not’, circa 1999).
Post-sales issues are the most challenging and least fun part of running a shop, but they are so rewarding when we can resolve them. Let me paint a picture for you: a post-sale email/ticket comes in from a customer (or a phone call), and I see my colleague Ellie with her head in her hands, which means we have a grenade to deal with—an unexpected shit bomb that has landed and needs to be defused. These come in the form of us packing the wrong items (rare these days, but an easy fix, albeit a cost hit), the order not being delivered, or the items being damaged in transit. Online retail is not for the faint of heart. This is a time, cost, and stress hit.
Recently, we shipped a pallet to Manchester containing a few bits, including LEDs and an extraction kit (Omega LEDs and Isomax with a Carboair, if you’re wondering). Still, somehow it didn’t arrive on the pallet, and the bloody filter is missing! Our only official channel is to raise this with our depot, who we know are ‘the computer says no’ humanbot desk jockeys. These are the absolute worst type of employees. I’ve always had a hatred for lazy people, but running my own business heightened these toxic feelings. When you have zero empathy and zero shits, then customer service roles are not for you. Seriously, GTFO of here.
What I suspect happened is that the delivery driver didn’t have a forklift, so they handballed it off the pallet and onto the van (we discreetly wrap everything), but then didn’t deliver all the parcels. Great fun.
Here’s another recent one: a customer said they didn’t receive their 50m roll of C3. Cool—we’ll send you a claim form, and in the meantime, we’ll send you another. The replacement gets delivered, and the form comes back a few days later, but for whatever reason, the customer stated they DID get the first parcel… so we take the L and the claim is closed. Lovely. What did I tell you about online retail? That’s right; it’s not for the faint of heart. I’ve learned that there aren’t enough resources or hours in the day, so choose your battles. Every hit we take is a learning, and we’ve taken a lot of hits. Don’t ever ask me about the crypto debacle, the haemorrhaging wage bill of inefficiency we were blind to, or the Gavita 1700 we sold on eBay – they’re painful memories. Extreme emotional damage. When these grenades are diffused successfully, I’m thankful that the problem has been resolved and proud as hell knowing the customer is satisfied.
No two days are ever the same. Here’s what my melting pot of a schedule looks like:
- Sales, stock, pricing or technical queries;
- Supplier calls (they all love it when Ellie calls up, but fail to hide their groan when I call);
- Packing orders;
- Working with in-store customers;
- Attending prearranged meetings with customers;
- Following up on deliveries;
- Navigating hydro politics;
- Updating the website and staying on top of socials;
- Man-marking orders as they come in;
- Keeping up with the latest products;
- The odd emergency courier run.
All this, combined with a grenade or two (e.g., suppliers sending us the wrong stuff can be a kick in the ballsack, as this impacts the second pillar). Oh, I almost forgot the minor task of financial juggling, trying to turn a profit in a down market against a bleak economic backdrop in an industry that is racing to the bottom, and where supply is outstripping demand on both sides of the fence.
So yeah, behind the memes, LEDs, and courier carnage, it’s equal parts madness and teamwork. We’re not a slick corporate giant; we’re a handful of people trying to keep the lights on (literally), fuelled by caffeine, chaos, and a genuine love for this industry. Until I’m on that yacht, the mission continues.
Want to check out Hydro Bros Grow Shop?
They have a great online presence and a store in Croydon, UK.
